Why Surrogacy Age Won’t Impact Success Rates
We understand that most intended parents will have a mental image of the type of woman they want to have as a surrogate long before they are ever presented with a profile to consider. Most IPs envision a young, smart, kind, mother who is fit, beautiful, and fertile. While these things are true of all our surrogates, we sometimes notice that intended parents can struggle with the idea of accepting a surrogate who they don’t believe is young enough to help them build their family.
The first thing we’d like you to do is take a deep breath and trust us. Our screening process is very thorough, and we’re not going to present you with the profile of a potential surrogate who we believe to be lacking in any of the tools needed to make an excellent surrogate. Our program does accept women in their mid-thirties. These women are entirely capable of carrying a healthy, term pregnancy and may even present a few unique pros when compared to younger surrogates.
We understand that the knee-jerk reaction to a woman in her mid to late thirties is that her fertile years have passed. After all, the likelihood of chromosomal disorders goes up after 35, right? In most cases this is true. This is because a woman’s reproductive system will release only the eggs with the best chance of creating a healthy embryo each month. Logically, as a woman ages, her body begins to deplete the reserve of these best eggs. Hence the commonly held belief that younger women are better suited for childbearing.
Surrogacy challenges this belief. Gestational surrogacy is different in that your carrier will not be the genetic contributor to your child. Since a donor in her twenties will most likely be donating your egg, you don’t need to worry about egg reserve depletion.
Additionally, since a gestational carrier’s monthly cycle is regulated and manipulated by hormone therapy, as required by the IVF process, we are able to create uterine conditions that are fairly predictable and ideal regardless of a woman’s age. In this sense, your surrogate’s uterus is defying the aging process.
Intended parents may also be concerned that an older surrogate candidate may be too tired or weak to carry a pregnancy. While women in their thirties may have less energy than women in their twenties, this difference is largely lifestyle based. Our surrogates are healthy, fit women who enjoy active lifestyles and are up to the physical challenges of pregnancy, no matter how old they are or how many times they’ve carried children before.
Not only are older surrogate candidates up to the job and medically capable of doing it, they may carry an added bonus for your family. Older surrogates tend to have older children. This means their home life may be a bit less hectic than surrogate candidates with very young children. In these cases, the children of a surrogate may be able to help their mother when she’s tired, providing an even better home support system. Additionally, with age comes wisdom. Older surrogate candidates tend to be more mature and very able to handle the stresses of life and pregnancy.
As you can see, when it comes to selecting a surrogate, age is only a number. We encourage you to consider surrogate candidates based on their pregnancy preferences, lifestyle, and personality as well as their age. But please don’t be afraid of a surrogate’s age impacting your chances at success. If you have additional questions about how a surrogate’s age will impact her medical process, feel free to reach out to your IVF doctor or case specialist.
Posted by Dr. Kim Bergman in Surrogacy Resources for Intended Parents on 19/06/18
Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman’s is the author of the upcoming book, Your Future Family: An Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Red Wheel Press 2019). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. Her two daughters are in college.